how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
