you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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