I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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