I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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