just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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