I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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