I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
