Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
