I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
