My room smells like vodka and shame
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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