bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
