I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
