also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
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Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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