If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
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dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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