My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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