oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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