the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
