went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
we're so committed to being not committed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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