I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
