We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
