ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
