Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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