Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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