Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
