ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize