dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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