I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
