i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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