I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
