if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
there is puke in my bra ... again
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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