come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
