I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
