I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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