theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
