I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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