IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
What a dumb baby whore.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
