We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
