How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
