I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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