Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
