It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You made out with two different species that night
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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