Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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