Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
