I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
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But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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This is my life. Enjoy the view
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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