I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
