its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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