her vagine was all disorganized.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
