ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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