Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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