What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
