WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize