After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
