Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
as a side note pls kill me
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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