shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
