There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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