I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
