There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This is the high leading the old right now
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
