he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the knife in your bed.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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