my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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