So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
